We hear it all in an average workday. Today we thought we’d share a few of our most and least talked about reasons clients come to us to jumpstart their dating lives. You may be surprised!
- Saving Time: One of my favorite calls was from a client who, following current trends, tried approaching her dating life like a business. It started as a side hustle but over time began to feel like a serious gig, demanding as much focus and energy as her executive role in her actual career. She didn’t understand why it wasn’t working, why she was feeling so burned out about the whole process. Now don’t get me wrong; I believe in investing in relationship. Winging it doesn’t end well for most of us. But most of the clients we work with don’t have the time for a side hustle, or the expertise and resources to strategically optimize their dating lives. Time and focus are precious, and in demand, and when you’re ‘on’ all week long you need to switch gears in your off time. Turning your dating life into an interviewing process is going to steal your Sunday. And more than this, we don’t want to be showing up for a date with our corporate vibe on, because we aren’t in fact in a business meeting and engaging thus is not going to be. A. fun, or B. conducive to romance, or emotional receptivity or any of those softer qualities that are crucial for forming a connection. We already see much too much of the business persona creeping into romantic opportunity and dating styles, without setting it up as such. As our gal was quick to realize, having someone to do the swiping for you, metaphorically or literally, allows you to lean in and focus on what truly matters.
- Faster Results: It sucks to feel like we are spinning our wheels; that our efforts aren’t garnering results. We hear this one a lot. You are tired of the why not, the elusive feeling that it could be better, it should feel better, and you could be living the life you want already, not running through the same mental loop as yet another holiday season approaches. You appreciate that working with any kind of expert, coach, advisor, mentor is going to get you clarity, and certainty and save you the time you might spend learning what they have made it their full time job to learn.
- Maximizing Opportunity: In related news, some of our clients don’t mind the foibles and trial and error of dating and relationship starts and stops, but they don’t want to leave their futures to complete chance. They come to us so they can fall into a peaceful sleep at night, knowing that their love life isn’t limited to the fickle world of algorithms and by post-Covid social reluctance. They want their own opportunity to be the bachelor or bachelorette of the hour, to lavish some TLC on the experience, but without the drama we see on TV.
- Specific Criteria or Limitations: Some of you lovelies are not average Joe’s. You have unusual lifestyles; think Charlize Theron who plays the Senator in that comedy with Seth Rogan when she confesses that any partner of hers will have to be satisfied with 15 minutes of emotional intimacy between power naps and power bars on her private jet to a remote political hotspot. Some of you have those kinds of lives. Some of you simply live where there is no one else “like you”. Some of you have a very specific attraction profile, and rather than apologizing for it (attraction is not a moral evaluation of someone’s worth) you need the help to line it up and make it happen. Some fuel to start the fire.
- Online Dating Frustrations and Fatigue: You’ve exhausted the options. Or you don’t trust them. Or you are tired of the ghosting, the lack of seriousness, the approaches for casual sex, the predators, the catfishers, the misrepresentation, the emotionally unstable, unhealthy and all of those others who just aren’t ready, the effort spent on conversations that don’t materialize into meetings. You’re fairly confident that the profiling process is not syncing with the algorithm in your favor, and since you’re not looking to date a robot, you don’t want one deciding your romantic future.
- Dating Nerves or Struggles: Our clients are not in the dating game to perfect dating, they’re here to find the right person to build a relationship with and spend a future with. But many struggle with the dating process. They are introverted, they feel nervous or judged or extremely self conscious. They have bad habits. They don’t come across the way they want to on a date. Opportunities are lost and discouragement runs high. Being pre-introduced with a profile that brings out your charm, your essence, the amazing qualities that will create the foundation of your relationship gives you a head start on confidence and connection. Our clients love that we set the stage and support you in showing up, working through those vulnerabilities and challenges together.
- Privacy: Many of you have big lives, or high profiles, or simply run private in terms of your personal lives. Online dating feels exposed, awkward, or compromising, less safe. You seek a discreet process for introductions that skips the guesswork, is selective, allows for your input and gets past your star power to the substance of a match.
- Blind Spotting: You’re not living your relationship dream but you’re also smart enough to know that you don’t know what you don’t know. In other words there may be variables outside of your scope of vision, perception, understanding that are glitching your dates, your relationships. Sometimes these are easy fixes. You want the vision and expertise that we bring to the table so you can be sure that you’re not getting in your own way, or missing an important beat.
- Dating and Relationship Expertise: More than just bigger vision, you want to get relationship right this time. You’ve invested in other areas of your life, your business, your success, your personal aspirations. You’re unwilling to risk bad choices and find your best years spent repeating the same patterns. Having trusted expertise to ‘meet well’ and support to build a better relationship is critical for you, your confidence and happiness, ultimately. You would much rather be investing in building a relationship to last than sending your divorce attorney’s kids to Harvard. Although don’t get me wrong, we love attorneys and Harvard.
- Emotional Energy: Probably the least understood but most prevalent reason for hiring dating and relationship support comes down to emotional energy. Modern daters are discouraged. DIY methods for connecting don’t just take our up our time, a night that could be spent with friends or at the gym, they take optimism, belief, faith, vulnerability, investment, sharing; emotional output. Giving our emotional energy and feeling unrewarded, or overlooked, or dismissed breeds doubt and confusion and resentment and fatigue. I would have to say that most clients seek our help because they want a better return for their emotional output. A process that works better, that is supported; a way to approach dating that isn’t riddled with confusion, rejection, fear. You can always make another pile of dough, but your emotional energy is precious and deserves to be protected.
If any of these hit home for you and you’d like to schedule a free consultation to talk about your reasons for wanting to jumpstart your love life contact us here. We’d love to hear all about it!
Much love, Erin